The Life and Times of Nessie

And how was your Christmas?

2009-12-29T18:49:10Z

Mine was a relative success. I wa cooking for the family this year. Not out of choice, mind you. Samantha was off galavanting with her partner and we had not heard from her for a few days, so it was shunted to me, Not that I minded, I wanted to see if I could handle the responsiblity that cooking a full Christmas Dinner can bring.

I said thus on Facebook. I lul'd at some of the replies I got on the subject, things like "I have been cooking Christmas dinner since I was 12, etc". Let me clear this one up if there is any confusion. 1) They probably had help, no way they could do that nor would their parents let them and 2) cooking an English Christmas dinner is not the same as cooking a West Indian/African/Black Christmas dinner. A typical English dinner would have about 2 meats maximum, some potatoes, veg and gravy. On average, we have 3-4 different meats, two sides (this year I did three; two sets of potatoes, one sweet one normal, and rice), large pot of mixed vegetables, sprouts, mini sausage rolls, chipolatas, stuffing balls and homemade gravy. And cake, two sets. And mince pies. And last year Samantha made a soup. A lot, innit?

Luckily, I had Alex helping me with the dishes side of things because there was a lot and it was regular. He can't cook so there was no point asking him to help lol. When the time rolled around to eat, I couldn't even properly sit down and eat in peace because I was worried how people would find the food but it pleased them. The roast sweet potatoes in Jerk butter was a particular hit, especially with Earl, Samantha's partner, as she tells me he still talks about it to this day. I was pleased with how the other set of potatoes came out as it was the first time I tried cooking with goose fat and it made them MARVELLOUS. Thank you Asda.

Well, now the Christmas holidays is out of the way and New Years is coming up. I am spending a very long weekend in Nottingham with Dwayne. He has plans. I am scared xD But I am cooking him a New Years dinner, so I am lugging the goosefat and some rosemary with me, as its going to be Gammon Ham with Roast Potatoes. I love cooking for him, his face lights up whenever he tastes my food. He called my Spag Bol the best thing he has ever tasted which is high praise indeed. Let us see how he will like the ham.

Going shopping tomorrow for his presents. It's my only chance to beat the VAT increase and for once I have some cash. I have ideas of what to get him, I just hope he likes them.

Well, I am going to let my food settle and then I am going to wash my hair. I am also going to start packing as, techinically, I only have one more day left. Need to check trains actually. With the weather screw up, I hope it means my one is still running...

Ciao for nao! x

A bit of a... ranble?

2009-12-11T21:58:09Z

It kinda makes me sad looking at all the relationships of friends that have ended in the past few weeks and thinking about the conversation me and Mike had a couple of weeks ago, deliberating the fact that this is the season of making and breaking relationships.

Is this because of the weather? Of SAD? It's quite cruel that mother nature could creat this kind of thing. That you are not happy so therefore your unhappiness rubs off in your relationship. I admit, I am a moody bastard to Dwayne a lot, mainly because of the fact that I have not been feeling that happy recently due to lack of planned success post uni. But I have so much to thank him for. It is because of him I will end 2009 on the opposite note that I had started it. This has been a very very VERY bad year for me, accumulating the drama with Joe, the stress of uni, the scam job and the lack of oppertunities thereafter. Meeting him (Dwayne) was the best thing that could have happened to me.

And it was so random too. I went to Ayacon with a massive crush on Henry. I see them both at the same time on the Thursday. I spend most of the weekend with them, til the very last minute. I get back and all I can think about is that Kabuto cosplayer. I couldn't even think about Henry. It was all Dwayne.

He keeps me going, you know? I would have lost it by now if I didnt recognise the fact that there is someone out there who loves me and wants to keep me sane. He made all the pain worthwhile. I now know the only way is up =3

Hopefully I get to spend New Years with him. Instead of being sad and lonely like I was last year, I can be happy and loved this year <3

London Meet tomorrow. Going and supporting Mooz for lulz and wellwishing. Should be fun. But before that I have to go to the Clinic to do the 4 week checkup on my Implant. Wonderful news is that I have no scarring whatsoever and it doesnt itch anymore. And Dwayne loves it. So do I tbh. No more painful latex for me! <3

Ciao for nao guyzzzz

x

This was meant to be a happy post about my weekend but...

2009-12-07T23:39:45Z

I dunno.

I feel like there's animosity in the air. Like I am being punished for what happened last week.

Meh.

So about the Job results...

2009-11-28T00:56:55Z

No reply from them yet.

It seems I have to wait till Monday. They did say Friday or Monday. Gah, I was hoping to know before the weekend to know whether I need to drown my sorrows at the ball or celebrate with my mates and Dwayne.

Keep your fingers crossed, I guess T_T

I've pretty much packed for the ball. I need to practice face makeup tomorrow and do my feet and nails. And wash my hair.

It's a quick update. I am tired and its very cold >_> Also, I am sickened to know I actually like this new JLS song "Everybody In Love". It's a bit of a winter warmer. Dammit!

Speak to you all soon. x

SCEE

2009-11-24T16:37:59Z

I had my interview today. It was a second interview. I just hope that I get the placement!

I would type more but my stomach is a bit rumbly so I think I may lay down for a bit of a rest.

More later! x

I promise you guys...

2009-11-23T20:35:47Z

This time... I am back!

So, LJ...

2009-07-10T19:36:14Z

Where do I go from here?

Lol

I think the next month shall be... interesting, to say the least.

Wewt Ayacon soon! So far I have saved £45. My target is £150. Why such a high target? Hotel is £79 or £69 I cant remember now. Prebooked train to Coventry (with railcard) is £15. Gives me about £50 spare for foods and blah blah.

Will I make my target? I bloody well hope so!

I have now signed on to get extra cash. My phone will probably go KAPUT soon because I have nothing to pay the phonebill with. So my only means of communication will be on here. Which is fine because most of my convos are online anyways lol

Aimee, we need to sort out something for next week, aye?

You too Tom. Since I am back in the House of Customs, we need to hang out more lol

The new chapter of Nessie's life begins now.

Yay? xD

Ciao for Nao

(ps: BAH I have joined the Hetalia fandom. I can't help it! They're all so cute!!!)

x

Ill entry no. 4

2009-06-06T20:41:05Z

I feel ill and I have no idea why...

I think its something in this Custom House place of mine.

That or the food that I've just eaten...

Need to throw up

In the meantime, we forget how good this song was!

Ciao for nao x

Ramblings of a lonely black woman.

2009-06-05T12:38:42Z

I so wish that I was going to the Newcastle meet tomorrow.

Yet I don't have the moneys to be travelling to a place all the way up norf.

That, and I would have no where to stay.

BEEEEEH. My chansua could have been there!

Boo boo fail.

Ah well... I shall do an amazing birthday present instead <3

I neeeed a job soon. Like, I really do T_T

Ciao for nao

PS: WTF IN NARUTO????

I'm still alive guys...

2009-06-01T20:17:33Z

Considering this is a start of a new month, I should update this more

No matter how random, pointless or frivilous it may be.

Hopefully this means new stuff for Nessie in the future =3

Lets hope eh?

Extra Babble...

2009-05-22T01:30:20Z

Also, what are the chances of my period being completely done by the Sunday Morning?

>_>...

I'm just wondering, tis all

A girl's gotta know these sort of things to be... prepared.

Just like Scar sung.

Although he got eaten by Hyenas in the end.

Oh dear.

It should be done by the afternoon I think.

x

So... Expo huh...

2009-05-22T01:25:29Z

... Is it me growing up or are other people unenthused about it as much as I am?

Urgh.

Roll on Ayacon.

x

nessie_senpai @ 2009-05-01T12:16:00

2009-05-01T11:28:09Z

Sorry I haven't been about since Kitacon (which was so lulzy btw xD) but so much has been happening in such a short amount of time and YET AGAIN even more has to be done in an even shorter amount of time.

I sent an application for a job this week and they called me for an interview. I went for the job interview and got the job. The whole process took, in effect, 2 whole days. I'm sorry to those who have been searching for yonks but these crazy shit can happen!

The only thing is they want me to start on the 15th May... a day after my final hand in at uni. Which is madness. So Imma have to get EVERYTHING done by next week essentially and also move to Dave's in Barkingside by that time too. Also I am handing my notice to Sainsburys today. I wonder if I can have my last day on Monday? I have so much to do now and as I have a new job it seems extremely pointless to pursuing work there. I will work one final shift and then the rest of the week will be about my final project.

Sorry Flo. I know you like me there. But it seems I have to go sooner than expected. Really sooner. So much so now that I can't go to Expo. I work on Saturdays too, it seems. I will need to verify that but I've already dropped out of the Rosario + Vampire group and I am not doing the Cosplay Rave. Plus its WAY too soon to ask for the Saturday off.

If possible, I will see if I can get some time off in August... if I can, I SHALL go to Ayacon. Why not? I can afford it now! Just means no PSP for a while but if I'm missing out on Expo, why not replace it with something way better? xD

Dave's party is tomorrow. I guess I am the only one out of the Expo Crew going. No matter. I will buy some noms from work tonight but also this is convenient as I am planning to lug my entire Manga collection and perhaps some of my DVDs with me in transit to hopefully make moving easier.

This is all happening so fast... but this is a new chapter in my life now... Without a doubt! I may be antisocial with events and stuff but give me time people! I promise we will have some fun soon!

Wish me luck!

Have I... forgotten something?

2009-04-14T01:00:46Z

I am 90% packed.

I'm scared I've forgotten something Katara wise.

I hate this.

Going to bed to calm myself down lol xD

Suitcase so bulky!!!!

Dream Tiem! It's another wierd one folks...

2009-03-27T13:04:56Z

It's that time again! I think I sense a pattern here. Just before my period ends I have a weird dream. Period is ending, weird dream appears!

I shall note here two things. One, it is wonderful that for once, I can tell EXACTLY what day my period will start and end. Lovely pill. And two... HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINNIE. Shall be seeing you soon, you big 20 year old you!

Ok, down to business. The dream. I was on a trip not too dissimular from the music trips that my school had to different european countries each year to play concert. In fact, we were talking about past Music Tours on the coach. But it wasn't just old school people on the coach. There was a healthy mix of forum people too. When we reached the hotel, which was really plush and kind of doubled up as an office block, I found out that I was sharing a room with Connie, which pleased me muchly. But Joe was on the trip too, so I went back down to the reception to see what floor he was staying at and which room he was in. Turns out he was on the very top floor in an executive suite sharing with ManDan and Andrew, someone from my school. I thanked the receptionist lady and went to the two lifts.

Pressed in 7th floor and some random older man ran into the lift and pressed the 2nd floor just as the lift doors were closing. It' went past the 2nd floor and I chortled to myself, thinking that he must have pressed it too late when I realised that actually shouldnt happen. And the lift was going way to fast for a normal lift. We were speeding towards the 7th floor without no sign of stopping and the guy was pressing the "Call" button to report a fault. We passed the 7th floor. It was like we were still inside the hotel but not quite. Then we started going back down... really fast. Like, my legs were starting to rise above the ground. I started sobbing, saying, "All I wanted to do was see Joe... why is this happening? Make it stop!" The guy was also quite scared but keeping calm and was talking to the people on the phone to see what was going on. We plummeted a couple of floors below the basement level. And then the lift started spinning, like a washing machine. That's when I stopped being scared and just became confused. The inside was padded so I was able to flip round comfortably, but I was shouting out, "What the hell is going on?"

The flipping stopped and we started moving. Like forwards. The guy forced open the door to see the lift moving up the stairs, The route I would have taken if there wasn't a lift. He jumped out of the 2nd floor and I did the same. The lift ventured on. The guy left me, mumbling about poor service so I carried on.

I went past the third floor, which was the floor most of us were staying on, and carried on. It wasn't as tiring as I thought it would be, just... confusing. Remember when I said it was like an office block? Well, floors 4-6 were offices. I met this one woman on the 6th floor who smiled at me and said, "I know your teacher you know. Normally I would talk about her in serif, but since it is you I will talk in sans serif... is that okay?"

"What?" I said.

That is a mode of typeface, not speaking, I was highly confused.

Then I got to the 7th floor and there wasn't just one room, there were a whole set of rooms, all with famous names written on them (I distinctively remember Charlie Chaplin). Out of the corner of my eye I saw the comedians Keith Lemon and Paddy Mcguinnes skipping down the hallway hand in hand, being chased by security guards (if you saw Let's Dance for Comic Relief, you'd understand). I ran up and down the hallway desperatly looking for the right room, when I felt myself waking up. I pleaded to wait until I found Joe... But then I did wake up.

Beh.

I should make a novel of all my freaky and stupid dreams. Perhaps I can sell them to be oscar winning screenplays. Perhaps not this one though...

Ciao, won't be around tonight. Seems as though I am clubbing with Vinnie lol x

A Good Cosplay Workshop Weekend in Farnham <3

2009-03-22T20:45:51Z

It was nice to have friends in F-Town with me for once without having to hide in my bedroom to avoid contact with the Heater/Bill Nazis for once. This weekend was the Cosplay Workshop with Dani, Dan and Aimee. Dan was bringing over his sewing machine because Katara's cosplay needed to have various things attached to it that would be near impossible to do by hand. I am not that confident with them but I was hoping that Dan would have been able to help me.

I was just about finishing work when I saw three missed calls on my phone and some texts. Dani was telling me that they were getting the 20:17 bus from Aldershot and then Dan called me saying that they were standing outside my house and wondering when I was getting back. I finshed work at 8:30 and the bus that I was getting was coming at 8:40 so not till 9pm. They were "kindly" let in by the Nazi's so that was my worry over and done with. I just had to make sure that I got the bus in time and the fact that it was 8:40 and the bastard who has the keys to let us out of Sainsburys had not come down yet I was getting uber pissy because I was not spending £7 to get a taxi home. Luckily the bus was a little late so I got there with about a minute to spare.

Dan and Dani were "hilariously" hiding behind my curtain when I got in (I beat them) and wanted me to feed them. So I cooked whilst Dan was preparing his material for sewing the next day. It seems that he is doing some extremely difficult Code Geass cosplay with many layers and colours that would probably look epic when it is finished but also looks like a bitch to do overall. And I thought that Katara was going to be tough >_>

I fed them, Dan was falling asleep so I drafted them back into my room. There was some nakedness and lols until after a brief conversation between me and Dani about Disney movies that we like over the sounds of Dan's soft sleep sighs (xD) we fell asleep.

We woke up the next morning quite earlyish to prepare ourselves for the arrival of Aimee in Farnham station. I gave Dan breakfast (Dani didn't want any) and we got dressed. Then we got a text from Aimee saying she was going to be late. Turns out England were playing Scotland in Twickenham today and a bunch of men in kilts (her description) were queueing for miles. Trains to Farnham are every half hour and it took her and hour to get a ticket. By they time she got one, she had just missed a train by about 10 minutes so she got the next one. Waiting, we faffed in my room watching Family Guy (an episode where Peter turns gay and theres a Spazzy Horse in it) and then went to meet her in town. To save moneys, we walked.

Aimee was obviously looking in the wrong direction for us and Dan scared her on the station stairs where where spacked out in horror xD Brilliance. We stopped by my Sainsburys where we picked up snack noms and then I showed them my Uni where we took pictures of the art along the walkway. Well, mainly us posing on the art but you know what I mean xD

We went back to mine, had a bit of a rest and then proceeded with the cosplays. With Dan's help and guidance Katara's dress cloak thing looks really good right now and there isnt much left to do which is a plus. Dan's cosplay was really intricate and confusing to even comprehend. Good luck to him. Dani forgot her stuff so she was the Master of Ceremonies with my laptop. I made Aimee paint my Cleaver for Konotoha to give her something to do and not have her sitting there reading Manga Sutra the whole afternoon. Nick joined us and seemed to have fun, as we all have simular humour with one another. The Nazi's returned after a bit of course and were grumps, yet at the beginning, polite. I cooked the others their promised and much looked forward to chicken and potatats which they loved and then we had a High School Musical movie marathon of all three movies, which yes I do have. However, the Nazi's came to spoil the fun and told us to turn down the TV as we were being too loud and they were trying to sleep. At quarter to 11 at night. Epic failure. I proceeded to complain to Nick, Amit and Laura by phone and MSN and they agreed that this has gone too far now and we need to have a house meeting to put things straight.

We gave up at 2am and migrated to my room where Aimee tried to rape us all with her sleeping bag. Dan pushed her away and she started to fall off the bed, clawing at me to save her. I was laughing too much though so she fell on the floor. Hilarity xD I think we crashed out about three?

I woke up to find only Dani in the room with me. Dan was in the living room still sewing but fretting that he didn't have enough gold trimming to carry on. Aimee was asleep on the sofa so I brought them all a bowl of Honey Nut Shredded Wheat each. We then watched some Puni Puni Poemy before they packed all their stuff to get the 2pm bus to Aldershot to get home.

House seemed so quiet with them gone. I was sad actually. I shoved things in the dishwasher and then went back into my room to sleep. It was a brilliant weekend and not only were things done but I had a right laugh too. Bodes well for mine and Nick's birthdays I think!

Ciao for Nao!

x x x

House Blitz and Housemate Issues

2009-03-20T01:07:56Z

I went cleaning mad today.

After I woke up and spent two excess hours in uni (an hour and 45 mins more than I needed to) and bought some stuff in town, I came back and did a blitz on the house.

Dan, Dani and Aimee are coming to mine for a sort of cosplay workshop. But I had noticed that the house was falling into Kim and Aggy's worst nightmare. Not only did I cleaned the kitchen, sorting out the dishes and mopping the floor, but I vacuumed all the communial areas and tidied the Living room, since it is there we will be spending most of the time working on our stuffs. I actually have the start of callouses on my hands from vacuuming so much. I did it so hard that I filled up a bag and had to put in a new one. So it wasn't perfect but to me it was a sparkly as a reference to Edward Cullen in Twilight.

So guess my horror when two hours later after having a rest and washing my hair I look at the kitchen sink and notice that not only that there were dishes piled up at the drainer, but something was clogging the actual plug hole of the sink and, with pans and bowls in the sink, there was also a brown scummy water thinng. Geh.

I didn't say anything to the perpatraitors (AHEMtheheaternazisAHEM- oh and thats another thing. The girl Nazi put a note on Nick's cupboard today saying that do we need the heater on two times a day now since the sun is out. WTF. Stupid English people, the littlest hint of sun and its suddenly Summer.) but I had carried on regardless. I have guests coming over, I do not want to show them a scummy house. Unfortuantly the Studio is terrible but most of that is Motorcycle stuff and paintbrushes, neither of which are mine so I am not touching that. All I did in there was clear a space for me to put my wings, tail and the rest of my cosplay desk. That studio was designed so that everybody in the house could have their own desk to work at. Only one person has all the desks. Me and Laura claimed two for ourselves and dumped our stuff on it enhancing our claim.

Now, the Nazi's are in the Living room. It seems Amit's sexings with his girlfriend are too noisy for their liking and they are being kept up. SO they are snuggled on the sofa actually looking like someone has died and they are trying to keep their emotions in. It's actually really lame. I laugh actually. I suggested that they listen to music to send them off to sleep but aparently music only keeps them up more. Lame. They just cant be arsed to problem solve themselves. I sense tension in the morning.

Nick, come back soon. I want my heat back.

Sorry you guys are coming into this lol

Good night now. Gonna get some rest.

Ciao x

A severed head is watching you...

2009-03-17T14:30:43Z

Lol as I sit here in my living room, people are giving me weird looks as they walk past.

It might be to do with my dodge hair, but its more likely a very realistic head sitting on the windowsill. It's the beginnings of Makoto from School Days and is severed headness xD Right now he looks a bit possessed as he has no eyes (nothing worse than a floaty possessed head) but I will get back to him later on when I am back from work.

Today, apart from being St Patricks Day (which doesn't really bother me... sorry, Irish!) is my 2nd oldest sister (and oldest full sister)'s 35th Birthday. It's weird, I don't see her as being over 30. I see her as still being in her 20s, picking me up from school. I think when we get to a certain age, my family don't get older anymore. My brother looks like a late teen to early 20's even though he has now turned 30 this year. My mum could pass for someone who is still in her 40s but she has her Heinz birthday this year. And my dad, who is 70 a week today looks much younger than half the people who are the same age as him.

I hope I have this gene too. A lot of my mum's sisters have it. I wanna stay looking young and beautiful lol xD Gah, I am 21 in just over two weeks time, what the hell.. >_>

Better get ready for work. I wanna ask them how easy will it be to get a transfer...

ciao for nao!

x

The Final Countdown...

2009-03-14T21:53:08Z

I would tell you the full story of the drunken guy with the shoe fandango that happened on Friday but quite frankly typed words would not do it justice xD

I love Friday 13th.

Today I have been putting a second layer of modroc on my wings. They are looking good. Ooh, which reminds me... I need to sketch my face. Which is holding my Konotoha wig now.

I'm starting to panic now though. I was meant to go shopping today but my alarm went off late. Bastard thing, so I have missed out a whole day of shopping. I have TWO DAYS to find a dressing gown before Dan and hopefully Dani come to mine for a sort of cosplay workshop thing. As Dan has a sewing machine. And I NEEEEEED one to complete Katara.

OH SHIT I NEED DYE TOO >_>

Why do I cut everything fine?? I really do fail at life

At least my props are shaped out now!

Ciao for nao x

nessie_senpai @ 2009-03-13T03:33:00

2009-03-13T03:36:19Z

>_>

Getting annoyed now.

Time is running out for a LOT of things and time is conspiring against me.

Urgh.

Pissing me off.

Going to bed.

Hopefully things (and people >_>) will pick up soon.

DONT HAVE MUCH TIME.

Need to make a severed head.

Cold Nessie is Cold. And sore. But not Drunk.

2009-03-07T04:44:17Z

SO TIRED.

Been nonstop for TWO DAYS.

Damn Amit, making me party for his birthday lol.

Now I have sore feet. And too much alcohol in system.

Must force myself to sleep.

WARM, MY ROOM, WARRRRRRRRRRRRRM.

Nite x

Sore fingers makes a happy prop maker.

2009-03-05T13:47:38Z

I wake up this morning to sore fingers. Thats what I get for cutting wires without protection. What the hell was I thinking, not using gloves? I'm just a fool lol

However, the basic framework for Kurumu's wings have been done. I am happy! If you want to see them then go on the forums, they're on the Rosario + Vampire thread in the cosplay section xD

Today is my housemate Amit's 22nd Birthday. We are going to Guildford for some TGI Fridays. I actually don't think I have ever been in one before! I'm sure I will find something I like there lol. And the ever adorable Toph (aka Chris, in Amit's year) should be coming along so that should be fun. Although I wont go clubbing with them after. I need all the energy I can get lol xD

Must go get changed now and stop watching HSM3 vids... BUT THE SONGS IN IT ARE SO AWESOME!!!

A dream that shows me where I am in life.

2009-03-03T13:21:41Z

Why the hell is it that I only update this thing when I have a period, something freaky happens to me or I have a weird dream?

Today is the turn of the weird dream. I had two of them in fact, which proves that alcohol is indeed NOT. GOOD. FOR. YOU. xD

The second one, which I sort of remember, was so convoluted that it would take me years to properly explain, moreso to the fact that I didn't properly understand it myself. Specially towards the end where me, my sister and some girl were on some ramshackle train and we got off randomly to work out this weird mathematical sum in order to move on. I distincly remember me saying out loud, "What is the point of this? This is a dream, pretty soon I'm gonna wake up any way!"

The first dream freaked me out more. To a simular standard of the Lion Dream that I had a few months before. I remember we were at some sort of swimming pool and people were picked out to go to their deaths, quite willingly, by a man who looked like a mixture of various teachers that I have had over the years. The different people being chosen were all Expo people I think (there was a bit before this in the dream, but I cant remember what happened... this was a sort of semi final round) and I remember Dan and Tom getting picked and they got up and waited with the others in an emptied out pool for the water to come. I remember I got picked but then so did another girl and we both had to do something to secure I safety. I did it perfectly but the other girl couldn't be bothered so she secured her place in the pool. I sat down with Connie who, along with me, had to tend to the bodies once they had drowned as I was told by the guy. I remember us both looking at each other, deeply troubled by this whole thing. We watched the water slowly fill up and with enough height, people began trying to drown themselves. There was no screaming, only the cries of horror from the ten or so people watching. I was so disturbed after seeing one girl float to the top, and I didnt want to see Dan and Tom try to kill themselves, so I grabbed Connie and took her to mine (mine in that dream being my London home)

We sat and waited for people to be sent to us so we could deal with the bodies. I then randomly had a flashback where I was sitting at a PC with Tom and he was printing out pictures of Harry, loads of them. I asked him why he was doing that and he looked at me with a sad smile saying that he wants to take them with him, so he remembers him till the very end. I snapped out when we got our first body. A girl from the Koei group. Laura? I think she was the one I saw die. Aparently, according to the person delivering them, the others were struggling but trying very hard to complete the task.

I remember swallowing to keep the tears back, wondering why was everyone so willing to die? I was sure it was not a mandatory thing, I was sure there was a way to fight it. But then I also remember a voice in the back of my head saying, "If we asked you a week ago, would you still be so adamant to live?" which actually shook me. And still terrifies me now. Perhaps my subconcious was making me aware of other people's sadness. Everyone else that was close to me had gone by that point. Dan and Tom were about to go. It was only me and Connie left. But I still had the power to fight and I wanted to. We dealed with the first body and vowed for the sake of our lost friends we would try to save the others and put an end to it.

And then I woke up. I think dreams where my friends die really shake me to the core. Mainly because they mean so much to me. And the bit about me not being so sure a week before was actually really reflective about where I was at before. And I guess I wouldn't have gotten out of that without my friends. I think the dream was telling me I was alright now and that I can be more aware of other people's problems like I used to be. I am a stronger person now for it. Love you guys.

(Sorry Dan and Tom. I don't know if we saved you in time. But rest in the knowlegde that we tried.)

x

Update? Really??

2009-02-26T11:46:47Z

Sorry I haven't been updating much guys. Coming back home from more I have been really tired. And even though we have a perfectly good wireless system, my sister doesn't know the network key so it's not set up properly. And I can't be bothered to set up the laptop downstairs when all I want to do is lay in my bed. So I've been watching the Big Bang Theory instead and listening to the Pent Wentz Interview with Howard Stern. Hoik Hoik lol.

Basically things to keep my mind off Joe. Hopefully March will now prove to be a better month =3

I found the PERFECT wig for my Konotoha cosplay. It's also a UK company too so it shouldn't take to long to come down. I can spend the whole of March working on my cosplays now... and my final project.

And exercising. The fat legged cow that I am. If I want to go in that Jacuzzi in Kitacon, I have to look good!

Proper update tomorrow I guess. I seriously love it here lol x

Ciao for nao xxx

The End.

2009-02-22T14:57:11Z

well... im sad that you dont even want to speak to me

~*Nessie-chan*~ Numb. says:

i still want to talk to you about it but since you are online i am going to at least say this now: I dont want this anymore.

my feelings for you have turned into dislike and distrust. i want to wait for someone who is willing to talk things out and listen to me and my feelings and allow me to do the same

~*Nessie-chan*~ Numb. says:

single or not, you hurt me and you hurt me even more by ignoring this fact. i have no idea if this is ignorance or just plain cruelty but that was the final straw. I have waited and done so much for you but its been such a struggle recently and even though i have thought of you every step of the way, you, i feel, have been extremely selfish and have only thought of yourself and your wants and need

~*Nessie-chan*~ Numb. says:

for someone who was meant to like me and wanted to embark in a relationship with me in the future, you had a funny way of showing it.

this is all I am saying for now. but i still want to talk this out properly with you soon. I refuse to cry anymore tears over you. its not fair. now i have to think of my own needs and health.

~*Nessie-chan*~ Numb. says:

i'm sad it has to be like this but in all honesty you left me with no other choice. i just simply cannot bear the pain anymore. im sorry. i will speak to you later